When you have looked into death's yawning maw as I have often done, you come away with a different realization for which a secular, atheistic worldview will not suffice.
If you are dissatisfied with the hollow platitudes and mindless mantras of the new-age sort, then you and I understand one another.
My own grokking of that Grand Intelligence which put this entire show into motion is unfalsifiable. By this admission, I mean to convey that I have no agenda here to convince you of anything, for I have no real argument to offer that would verify the existence of "God" the "Divine Creator", or any other deity label. Yet the more I study the show, the more I see it is in no way arbitrary. E.g.: Daily I wonder at the seemingly immutable Laws of Physics. These Laws have been argued and tested repeatedly, and thus far, appear to be verifiably true. At the risk of anthropomorphizing, I do see the fingerprints of something much more more grand, purposeful, and agentic than just randomness in these Laws.
When I gaze into the precision-ground glass of an 18" QF Telekit telescope, and let the Sun's photons reflected on Jupiter's gas surface splash into my pupils, I cannot help but stand in awestruck wonder.
I marvel at the immutable truth of the mathematical genius that is the time-chain called Bitcoin, and wonder about its mysterious creator(s), and from where he/she/they got their inspiration.
I endlessly critique my beliefs, and my past is littered with the broken and rotting carcasses of those constructs I once held dear. A genuine quest for Truth does, in fact, require facing existential questions head on. Unrelentingly.
I see the outcomes of my deeds when lived thru an ever deepening understanding of the Universe. I see the deep-seated anxiety and quiet desperation of those who find none of this in their lives. It appears to be painful, and filled with suffering. I've no desire to convert or fix them. I've no aspirations for hundreds or thousands of followers. If it ever appears I've tipped-over into some messianic delusional fervor, call me out.
Most importantly - don't mistake any of my statements as some claim to a monopoly on Truth. Avoid those who make such monopolistic claims, for their hubris blinds them. Your life and pursuit of Truth is yours alone to live. –Nolin
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